Idiots By Laura Clery - A Very 2023 Messy Memoir Review

Most people have a TBR list (To Be Read, for the uninitiated) as long as the sky. I do, too, but I rarely seem to read books from it. Instead, I pick a book randomly from one of the too-many book services I’m subscribed to and hope it sticks. It rarely does! But this psychotic method is how I found Idiots by Laura Clery (Amazon affiliate link, FYI).

I don’t know who this woman is. Well, that is, I didn’t until I read Idiots: Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes, and now I am very familiar with highly intimate details of her life, marriage, children, and anatomy. But when starting this book, I did not know that Laura Cleary is a mommy… humor… influencer?

This is not the first time I’ve accidentally picked up the books of influencers I know nothing about. It happened with Eat, Pray, #FML, which touted itself as a travel memoir but was actually an influencer memoir that seemed only to be aimed at their fans. This leads me to my first point:

Influencer memoirs are getting out of hand

I know this will make me sound like a geriatric boomer, but I do not understand influencer culture. I don’t follow anybody in their career and their families close enough to have the para-social relationship necessary to buy merch, subscribe closely, or engage religiously with their content. I’ll often pick up memoirs simply because they’re memoirs, and more often than not these days, I find myself reading about someone who is simply famous for their large social media following.

And honestly, a lot of these books are just not good. They’re not interesting, engaging stories written by interesting, engaging people. They are normal stories written by individuals who happen to catch an algorithm sweet spot, gain a ton of followers, and then get the lucrative and seemingly mandatory book deal that comes with having X number of subscribers.

On the flip side, Idiots by Laura Clery is actually a funny, well-written book. She’s a clever writer, and while parts of the book can drag, it’s an incredibly frank look at motherhood, marriage, and sobriety. This is one of the rare times when it seems like a book deal makes sense based on her writing abilities. Interestingly, I eventually checked out her sketch comedy and skits she references throughout the books, and wow, not a fan. Not for me. But I do like her writing.

Writing about social media ruins the flow

While overall, I did enjoy Idiots by Laura Clery (it feels weird to say “Idiots” not “Idiots by Laura Clery” because otherwise, it sounds like I’m calling her and her family idiots which, for the record, I am not), there was so much social media talk. I read (or, in this case, listen) to books to get away from the constant notification-driven social media world, but Laura Clery frequently talks about “going live” or “talking to her followers” or being recognized for her social media presence and it is so jarring.

Maybe that’s on me for, again, reading books by people I don’t know. But as a layperson who isn’t a fan, it’s hard not to feel like these books aren’t meant for me. Like I’m listening in on a conversation and I’m not supposed to be.

This leads me to my next point: there are so many influencers now. Thousands. Billions, maybe. I can’t keep track of them all. But they’re all getting book deals. They’re seemingly the only ones getting book deals. This now means that we, as memoir readers, have to navigate a minefield of influencer content. It’s exhausting, truly, and nobody prepared me for this journey.

The problem with super public disclosure about private affairs

One thing I liked about this Idiots is that Laura Clery is super, super open about her real life, struggles, and marital issues. The stuff nobody talks about, like infidelity, lies, etc. It’s very frank and a little jarring to see such intimate details just put out there.

Which made it extra weird when I went to her Instagram page to see what all the fuss was about, and saw that Laura Clery and her husband, Stephen Hilton, are now separated and are discussing the separation openly on their various (and numerous) social platforms, like this YouTube video (and this one and this one).

To read a book released last year and to see the dissolution of their ten-year marriage within the same year. Whiplash. Jarring. But also, none of our damn business? And to see the comments, hundreds or thousands of people picking sides, making claims, lobbing insults. What is this culture, how did we get here?

It’s popular to talk about how saccharine and polished social media can be, how fake and unrelatable it is. But then people open up their lives, share all the gory details and bare their souls, only to be ripped to shreds by the masses for doing so. I feel bad for everybody involved. But, on a bigger level, it’s weird to think about this entire culture of influencer idolization and evisceration. Who are these people, these “fans,” who invest years and years of their lives into following these people who are famous simply for… having followers?

I don’t know. It’s very weird.

It would be so cool if people with privilege were honest

This book is unfocused (is it about motherhood? Sobriety? LA influencer life? Infidelity?) and a bit all over the place. It’s earnest and heartfelt and totally tone-deaf, like when she spends a decent amount of time trying to convince us that motherhood problems are not alleviated by being a rich celebrity with a wealthy husband, which is hugely inaccurate as most of us have 99 problems and all of them would be solved by more money.

Or when she claims that her success comes from visualization and vibrations, not from marrying a successful and wealthy music producer that allows her the time and freedom (and access to LA) to become an online social media personality. I get that some people just have more resources than others, and I don’t blame her or anyone for that, but saying her success came from positivity and visualization and not from having more wealth and resources than 99.99% of people? Come ooooon.

I like this book, but influencers just need to be honest. Their success is one part talent, one part hard work, and ten parts luck and opportunity. Anything else is just a slap in the face to people who would kill to be a literal millionaire by posting funny little videos online but do not have the resources to even begin to make that happen. Who would love to make content and prioritize their children and not have to work 8-12 hours a day to do so. You can admit that this privilege came about because of your resources without discrediting your humor and talents. And doing so would be far more humanizing than the myriad poop and fart jokes peppered throughout Idiots by Laura Clery (mandatory full title).

Conclusion for Idiots by Laura Clery

Idiots by Laura Clery is interesting and chaotic. But it’s also quite good. Of all the influencer memoirs I’ve accidently read, this one is probably my fave.