Okay Fine Whatever by Courtenay Hameister – book review

When I first started Courtenay Hameister‘s Okay Fine Whatever, (affiliate link), I was literally shocked. The first couple of chapters were like looking into a mirror, if the mirror had a publishing deal. Like the author, I have clinical OCD, generalized anxiety, I’ve been overweight my whole life, and I, too, am in the midst of a journey to stop freaking out at everything.

It felt like a book made just for me. I was so excited. Courtenay Hameister seems like a lot of fun and an absolute gem. This is another one of those books where I went into it blind, not knowing of the author’s previous career (a habit of mine, as I read a lot of memoirs and don’t know anything about pop culture). Apparently, she was the host of a popular Portland show called Live Wire (radio show? podcast? I was never sure). Still, it became quickly evident that her anxiety, mental health, and body image prevented her from accomplishing numerous milestones in her life that would’ve made her “normal.” Girl, same.

When I say I related, I related. I also struggled a lot with my anxiety, and it’s one of those things that doesn’t seem like it’s that big of a deal… until it’s ruining your life. Like Courtenay, I’ve also quit jobs because of my anxiety and OCD. I’ve lost a lot, actually, thanks to my brain’s inability to just chill for like two seconds. I sacrificed many years of my life and untold successes to the idea that I am just not capable. So when she gave up on her show hosting role because of her anxiety, I felt that. I understand what it’s like to give up on something you love because it’s not something you can handle.

Okay Fine Whatever is a personal challenge and a rallying cry for the anxious

Courtenay Hameister decides to leverage her desire for a change and bravery into a sort of year-long challenge to herself to say “yes” to things that she is afraid of (but because of her anxiety, instead of saying “yes,” she’s saying “okay fine whatever”). This is not a new concept, and it seems like a lot of books in the nonfiction genre are written around this idea of spending a set amount of time facing your fears, trying new things, or challenging yourself in some way.

I felt so attached to her story that I was a little disappointed at the cliché of the book’s structure, but that’s okay. I think there’s some pressure to have a narrative flow, and a year-long set of challenges is just the structure I imagine she needed for her book. Plus, I appreciate that she didn’t spend half the book waxing poetic about why her childhood made her marginalized enough to deserve a book deal, which is a distressingly common trope of the modern memoir.

Her challenges range from a sensory deprivation tank, to dating, to getting high, to dating, to polyamorous dating, to a professional cuddle session, to dating, to sex, to more sex, to swimming classes. In fact, I ended up skipping some of the sex stuff. There was a lot of it, and it was pretty cringe-inducing. And that’s okay. I’m sure some people related to it. It was just too much for me.

Okay Fine Whatever is aggressively earnest (in a good way)

“You don’t have to be famous for people to say mean things about you on the internet. You just have to be earnest.”

Hari Kondabolu

I don’t know if I’ve ever read a book so intensely earnest as this one, almost to the point of discomfort. I was like, “Wow, the author is really putting it all out there,” and her frankness was almost disorienting. It was alarming to see something I related to so much reflected back to me perfectly in black and white.

Brutal honesty is a welcome shock

We live in an age where we want to see the people we admire be brutally honest, but only if they are perfect and flawless and live a mostly traditional life. Our idea of openness in transparency is when the size two talks about the time when she was once a size four and has never fully recovered from the shame of it. People are free to be open as long as the thing they’re open about doesn’t make us uncomfortable.

Okay Fine Whatever isn’t that. It is a glorious reprieve from this faux, Rachel Hollis-esque earnestness. It’s nice to see someone just put their whole story out there, especially considering her lifelong battle with anxiety. Like she says in the book:

“Anxious people are braver than the un-anxious, because we do it anyway, every single day. We’re faced with fear on a regular basis and we push through it in order to simply live our lives. And that’s something to be proud of.

Courtenay Hameister

Courtenay being super transparent as an anxious person makes the book all the more impressive.

Okay Fine Whatever conclusion

I loved this book. Parts of it were borderline unreadable because I just couldn’t get through another chapter of sex talk, and even despite that, I still loved this book (which says a lot). I could say a lot more about this book, but I will refrain at the risk of this review becoming as long as the book itself. I just want to say that I appreciate the author’s candor, and I hope to find other memoirs like this one: refreshingly honest, authentic, and unapologetically earnest.

Check it out on Amazon and Goodreads!

What did you think about Okay Fine Whatever? I’d love to hear your thoughts! 👇