I'm Glad My Mom Died By Jeanette McCurdy Is Super Intense

Wow. Uh. I’m Glad My Mom Died is wild. I’ve read a lot of memoirs in my life, but I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy is one of the most earnest, shocking, nauseating, and compelling memoirs I’ve read in years.

First things first, I highly suggest you read it if you haven’t (Amazon affiliate link btw).

What is Jennette McCurdy’s memoir about?

I’m Glad My Mom Died is about Jeanette McCurdy’s incredibly difficult upbringing with her abusive mom as well as her complicated experiences with child stardom as part of the Nickelodeon shows iCarly and Sam and Cat. But it’s also a lot more than that, and is a fascinating look into the life and psyche of someone who has undergone and overcome a lot, despite seeming to have the “dream” life of fame and wealth at a young age.

I’m Glad My Mom Died is exceptionally well-written

So, first things first, Jeanette can write. I knew literally nothing about her career, I have barely even heard of iCarly and had no idea who Jeanette was outside of this I’m Glad My Mom Died, but I’m a sucker for memoirs so I picked this one up and I’m extremely glad I did. It reminds me a lot of one of my other favorite memoirs, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls (the Jeanettes are killing it, memoir-wise) (also an affiliate link fyi).

Jeanette’s childhood was all the way messed up. Her cancer-surviving narcissist mom was extremely toxic and abusive, but the way Jeanette frames the abuse is so fascinating and something we don’t see much in literature. She really captured the essence of “I’m a child going through horrifying things but I have no frame of reference so I’m rolling with it and rationalizing the worst parts so they make some sort of sense.”

Obviously, this is something no child should have to do, but it’s the lived reality of pretty much all abused children. She really captures the codependent, rescuing, people-pleasing nature of abused children so poignantly. Her mom is equal parts her abuser and her best friend. Her biggest critic and only reason for living. Her anchor and her millstone. Absolutely fascinating stuff, and I think I’m Glad My Mom Died should be required reading in social work classes so people can understand the clusterfuck that is childhood abuse.

Being a child star seems like hell

While her mom was ultimately the bulk of the I’m Glad My Mom Died‘s focus, Jeanette McCurdy pulled no punches regarding the seemingly endless nonsense of the child entertainment industry. Between the intense body image pressure, the fact that the industry seemed to intensify and co-sign her mother’s abuse, and the extremely predatory relationship she had with “Joe” (aka Paul Glaser, allegedly) who worked on the show and started dating her when she was 18 and he was in his thirties.

Not to mention her reported creepy and inappropriate interactions with “The Creator.” While Dan Schneider was never named explicitly, he was literally the creator of both of her shows and has come under heavy scrutiny for his inappropriate interactions with his adolescent actors, so many are assuming he is “The Creator” though it hasn’t actually been confirmed.

Like many women, Jeanette was forced from the age of six to take on toxic workplace dynamics and inappropriate situations because it was her mom’s dream and Jeanette was supporting their family financially. Children should never be in this situation, but I imagine it’s more common in Hollywood than most people realize. The behind-the-scenes look at the exploitive child star industry was fascinating but also infuriating.

Jeanette’s honesty about her struggles is super refreshing

From OCD to anorexia to binge eating to bulimia to abuse to toxic men, this girl has gone through so much. Oh, yeah, and losing her mom after an extensive battle with cancer. That, too.

I really appreciate Jeanette’s realness. Her struggles with apathy, anger, alcohol, and abuse are things that often go unspoken out of fear of judgment, but I get the impression that the author has transcended giving a shit about being judged, and that’s pretty badass. Even her candor about her fraught relationship with Ariana Grande is like, whoa, girl, are you sure you want to be this honest?

But she does, and it’s intense.

I’m Glad My Mom Died kept making me wonder, “does it benefit Jeanette to share this?” I have so much anxiety about sharing parts of my life with anyone, much less a bunch of strangers, so her candor is baffling and exhilarating but also anxiety-inducing. I also guess she left acting (based on googling it, I have no idea about her career or lack thereof), but I can’t imagine she would have written this book if she were still trying to be an actor, as she is heavily critical of the industry, her colleagues, her projects (often calling them “embarrassing” or otherwise shitting on projects and sponsorships she received). It’s very raw but also… uncomfortable.

I have such a love/hate relationship with celebrities who criticize the nature of celebrity. Like, yes, you went through absolute hell. But it also helped you a lot, and gave you a platform. I find people who are intensely critical of things they a. chose, b. continue to choose, and c. profited from are a little bit… off-putting? But I also get the impression that Jeanette is aware of this dichotomy and even speaks to this a bit in I’m Glad My Mom Died. And who am I to judge the experiences and path of another person? It just always rings off to me.

Intense issues and questionable therapy

Jeanette is very open about her struggles with mental health, alcohol, and eating disorders. I wonder if her alternate title was Trigger Warning: the Book. But really, I’m Glad My Mom Died is a super refreshing and realistic look at the non-linear nature of recovery. It’s messy and frustrating and difficult and lonely.

She writes about her very intense relationship with her therapist, “Laura” and it is super weird. As someone who has some knowledge about the field of addictions counseling and mental health, her approach (as in, going with her to award shows, being available for phone calls at all hours, calling Jeanette “baby”) is very weird and inappropriate.

I’m Glad My Mom Died summary

Yeah, I’m Glad My Mom Died is a great book. 10/10. I hope Jeanette finds healing and lives a good life. It seems like Jeanette McCurdy and Miranda Cosgrove are still friends, at least, so that’s good. The one thing that confused me was the framing of this book as humorous. I didn’t laugh once, and in fact had moments of slack-jawed horror at the abuse. Maybe framing it as “funny” was a marketing tactic that didn’t quite land, but I kept waiting for the humor and never found it.